- You are here:
-
Home
- Advocacy
- Details
- Category: NW Essay Contest 2009
Leighton DeGoede/age 22, college/ Topic #2. What would you tell your future children about the value of abstinence before marriage? Well kids, the short story is, “it was worth it.” Just look at your mother, she’s a pretty awesome lady isn’t she? So now you’re convinced? You’re not satisfied with that?! It’s a long story. Alright, alright, everybody circle round then. Back when I was as short, skinny and shy as you can imagine, yep, more shy than even Jimmy, my mom and dad told me about the importance of purity and abstinence before marriage. I don’t remember exactly what they said, but I got the distinct impression that girls meant trouble, like just be careful not to get too close. So I was wary. Why, in elementary and middle school I was so scared of talking to girls that if one ever spoke to me directly and it wasn’t about an assignment or some project I would feel so uncomfortable that I wouldn’t know what to say. Yep, I was a special case. It took me a long time to learn how to talk to girls. They were all so pretty and I always felt funny inside. But I’ll tell you the first secret I learned: I had to think of them like they were my sister! Simple, huh? I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me earlier because I had two little sisters myself and they were girls of course and I played with them and we had a natural good time. Well, finally in 10th grade I was able talk to girls without getting all discombobulated. That was also the time that I became a lot more involved in church and I started being like an older brother to the youth group. As I began to really care about my brothers and sisters and how they were doing, I naturally got out of myself more. So that was the first secret I learned. If I just treated girls like they were my sisters and not like a girlfriend or anything like that, it felt right. The more I grew up, the more I saw the value of keeping it that way, just brother sister relationships. My friends at school struggled because they didn’t do that. Many of them started to play the silly game of dating and getting girlfriends. But it was never long before things would get tough and they’d break up. The more they dated, the less likely they were to really trust the next girl, and the less committed they were to the relationship. It was like my parents said: they kept sticking their tape on a girl when they dated, and when they broke up they pulled it off, and eventually it would stop sticking. Now I don’t know about you, but I like fresh sticky tape that does the job, so don’t waste your tape if you know what I mean. Looking back I feel sorry for all my friends because they were trying to find their “one true love” but their parents weren’t going to match them so they were going about it all the wrong way. My dad even told me that for him it was kind of scary before he met True Parents because he used to think to himself “oh man, all the best ones are going to get taken.” But then True Parents matched him to your grandma so everything was okay for him too. Actually, getting matched is the greatest thing. All I had to worry about was trying to be the best son and brother I could be. I knew my mom and dad loved me a lot, and I knew that God loved me just as much so I felt sure they would do their best. Plus, and you can trust me on this one because I’m your dad now and I know, parents always know their kids real well, and my mom and dad knew exactly what kind of lady I needed to create the super ultimate family. And that there is your mom! I didn’t have to worry about who it was going to be, because I knew it was going to be someone incredible. God has someone special in store for each one of you too. Honestly, when I got matched to your mother, I felt more blessed than I could have ever imagined before that moment. I didn’t believe it for the first few days, and I even wanted to do a 40 day prayer condition just to make sure it was what God wanted and not just me and her or just our parents. Now you know why it’s real important that you stay abstinent before marriage, because then you’ll save up all your love for your future spouse, and it’ll be so awesome that you’ll be grateful to God forever. Now look, it’s way past your bedtime! Alright, everybody up! First one under the covers get’s a kiss from mommy. You like that better than daddy’s beard don’t you? Don’t forget to brush your teeth!
- Details
- Category: NW Essay Contest 2009
Honorary Mention Pastor Mike and his daughter Topic # 4 How Can one Maintain Purity When Surrounded by a Culture That Does Not Recognize that Value? Every person makes or follows trails along a map we call life. The question is not just where are you going, but how will you get there? Breaking a trail instead of skipping along a paved street is far more arduous. Yet, as we break the trials of an old culture, we create new paths for morally-minded people to follow. We conceive, we believe, we achieve the path of maintaining purity when surrounded by a culture that does not recognize that value is possible. The evil culture is powerful. It is often more naïve and basically uneducated about the new culture. Rather than being sharp in tongue or overly critical, we must be more embracing and understanding. Like younger family members who need guidance at times rather than a scolding, we must set new standards and inspire to see new paradigms and new ways of living. So often young people are faced with concepts that try to teach them what is okay or even the “right” thing to do. And, many times, these people believe. They follow a path that was treaded by so many others, oblivious to signs of pain and suffering. Their hearts are punctured by thorns along the roadside, but they keep going because to stray would mean the end of acceptance into a society that revels in romantic embarrassment and heartache. There are so many people that have been negatively impacted by these sorrows and long for purity. Amazingly, people are attracted to a new culture that encourages purity of heart. So, as difficult as it is to go against today’s traditions, friends and family gain inspiration from moral thinking and moral trend setting. We become a new value and renew the value of others. So we need to find that zest, that motivation to embark onto and keep going on the correct trail to abstinence and moral purity. Where and how do we gain the power to do what is right when others say it is wrong, old-fashioned, or not normal? It comes from talking to parents and having good conversations among the family. It comes from Mom and Dad loving each other and being open to support, listening and guiding. It comes from not having secretes and trusting that we can share with our parents and parents with their child. It can even come from a single person who has the courage to stand up for something bigger than the self, something as big as the restoration of humankind. Knowing our own value sparks inside us the aspiration and the determination to be in fact a role model for others. At times we need to pray to seek power and inspiration. Sometimes, we need to read inspiration words on abstinence and understanding why our lineage is so precious. Education is power. We too must realize that there is energy in living up to our principles. People cannot hear us for our actions are speaking louder than our words. The comments that come back to us from other parents, friends, teachers and community leaders inspire us to keep going. We break the trail and when we look back, sometimes right behind and sometimes a ways back, others are following our trail. The culture is changing and we are helping change one step at a time.
- Details
- Category: NW Essay Contest 2010
Pure Love Essay Contest 2010
Washington State
Excerpts:
Middle School Grades
"How can choosing sexual purity and abstinence from drugs and alcohol impact your present and future life"
1st Place - Cameron M.
"Keeping sexual purity and abstaining from drugs and alcohol affect your family and peers in many different ways. The choice to use drugs and alcohol or becoming sexually active almost always has destructive consequences. Unconstructive behavior towards your peers and siblings can develop as a byproduct of the influence of drugs or alcohol. Younger siblings always look up to an older brother or sister and set an example for their behavior. For better or worse, parents are inevitably affected by the choices of their children. When you avoid drugs, alcohol, and premature sexual activity, you have a better chance of healthy development both emotionally and physically. Choosing to become involved in any one of these elements has a high likelihood of leading to other harmful options."
2nd Place - Alvin B.
"Drugs, alcohol, and sex can greatly affect our health in the future; we can get STD's from sex, damage to vital organs from alcohol, and a multitude of harmful effects from drugs. If we don't use drugs, consume alcohol, and have sex before marriage, none of this is likely to happen we will be able to have a strong relationship with God, our parents, our family, and our future children. We will also be able to live longer and be healthier. In the future we will also be able to get a higher education resulting in being able to get a better job and support our future children and spouse. Using drugs, alcohol and having sex before marriage doesn't only affect our future it also effects our present day lives. If we use drugs and alcohol presently we won't be able to participate in school sports we that we would like to play. We will also loose the trust and respect of our parents which would greatly effect what we are allowed to do. If we have sex before marriage we could get somebody pregnant and have to take care of the child which would also massively effect what we are able to do, how much our parents trust and respect us, and we won't be able to enjoy the rest of our childhood. If we choose to not use alcohol, drugs, and not have sex before marriage we will be able to play in the sports we like, enjoy our childhood, and have relationships with our parents and God."
High School Grades 9-10
"How does keeping sexual purity and abstaining from drugs and alcohol affect your relationship with your parents, siblings and peers?"
1st Place - Mikako I.
"The things that make life so amazing are not only the experiences you go through, but the bonds you create along the way. To not only experience something positive, but to also get to share it with the ones you love. The relationships that I build with others are something that I cherish beyond anything physical, including the drugs, alcohol, and sex that are so prominent in life. If by abstaining from these things, I can share an honest and comfortable relationship with my parents and siblings, and a supportive brother/sister relationship with friends around me, than honestly, what more could I ask for? I am not only doing my body a favor, I am able to connect to and support those in my life without causing them unnecessary distress. So how does keeping sexual purity and abstaining from drugs and alcohol affect my life? It makes life good."
2nd Place, Hudson S.
"The bond between a parent and a child is very important. It should never be broken or tinkered with. Trust and love is the most important thing in a relationship. Love is a given with you parents, But trust isn't. You should always work on building up your trust for one-another. Try as hard as you can to stop each other from making bad decision. Just one incident can falter a relationship, make sure you do the right thing and maintain sexual purity. Drugs and alcohol may seem like something you want to try, but don't give into the pressure. Always think about how it could affect your relationship with your friends and family."
High School grades 11-12th
"How can you maintain sexual purity before marriage when the culture bombards you with sexually oriented messages and images"
1st Place - Masaaki I.
"The things that make life so amazing are not only the experiences you go through, but the bonds you create along the way. To not only experience something positive, but to also get to share it with the ones you love. The relationships that I build with others are something that I cherish beyond anything physical, including the drugs, alcohol, and sex that are so prominent in life. If by abstaining from these things, I can share an honest and comfortable relationship with my parents and siblings, and a supportive brother/sister relationship with friends around me, than honestly, what more could I ask for? I am not only doing my body a favor, I am able to connect to and support those in my life without causing them unnecessary distress. So how does keeping sexual purity and abstaining from drugs and alcohol affect my life? It makes life good."
"There is no way, other than to have strong self-control to maintain sexually pure. In a society that relentlessly bombards you with sexually oriented messages and images, there is no way to shelter yourself from them, so the only way to "avoid" them is personal self-control and discipline. You cannot rely on others to maintain your sexual purity, the decisions that you make personally are the only ways to remain pure. With my firm roots in the Christian faith, and the knowledge of knowing that God's purpose and design for sex can only be achieved within marriage; and the physical and relational consequences of sex outside of marriage are devastatingly real, is what keeps me sexually pure before marriage."
2nd Place - Oliver B.
"In order to maintain sexual purity before marriage it is essential for that person to understand why it is so important to remain pure and maintain sexual purity before marriage. If one truly understands the consequences of not maintaining sexual purity before marriage it will be so much easier for them to remain pure because they will want to remain pure and they realize that it is so much better for them to do so."
"A great way in maintaining sexual purity before marriage is knowing the benefits of maintaining sexual purity. It strengthens character. It builds self-control. It protects body, mind, and spirit. It is an expression of love for God, others, and self. When a person is properly educated and knows all the benefits of maintaining sexual purity before marriage they will be less likely to have pre-marital sex."
Not only will God trust you, your partner will also be able to trust and respect you as well. Abstinence allows you and your partner to connect more emotionally than physically. Being connected on a more emotional level first gives you a good foundation to be with that person forever because you connect on a deeper level. The emotional connection you have can never be broken. Both of you can feel joy from making God happy about the decision to not eat from the fruit. Your conscience can be free from despair and unhappiness when being on God's side. Not only are you closer to your partner's mind and heart, you ultimately become happier. The thought of you and your partner sharing the same views on sex brings you closer to each other."
College Age
"How would you explain the importance of abstinence as a good preparation for faithful marriage to someone who is or was involved in premarital sexual relations?"
1st Place - Shawn Tai C.
"I now understand that once you give your body to another you give them a part of you that belongs to God. 1 Corinthians 3:16 states, "Ye are Gods' temple and the Spirit of God lives in you."Â "You become one (1) with any person you lay with." 1 Corinthians 6:16."
"I remember looking myself in the mirror no longer recognizing the person I saw."
"No longer was I the quiet, sensitive, giving, willing, and friendly person that I once was. I had grown bitter from being mistreated, lied to, used and scarred both physically and emotionally. I was terrified because I noticed for every man I'd lain with I saw a little of them in me- whether it be in my walk, my talk, the way I think, the way I behave. I didn't understand until it was explained to me that I became one with all those individuals. They gave me what I did not need. Spirits went in because they were invited (when you agree to be sexually involved). God cannot be where evil is present and if your body is the temple of God and there are evil spirits living in the body: God is not present, which brings about negative change such as: depression, acting mean, being disrespectful, being deceitful, being selfish, being angry, being careless and such like will dwell within."
"Imagine having been with multiple partners then later finding your wife or your husband, how difficult it would be to spiritually divorce all the others until you are free of them. How exhausting you would be from all the time and effort you spend on individuals God did not intend for you."
"Having been in this predicament myself, I asked God if I'd ever be able to show my husband the love and affection he deserves. I asked him if I'd ever be the wife his word declares me to be when that time comes. I asked him if I'll ever be able to give to my husband the one part of me that should have been sacred and kept for him that was wrongfully given to others. I wonder if He could ever forgive me and help me to be that virtuous woman as his word declares."
"Once a sin is committed, it's done. The good news for me is God holds nothing against me and once I repent whole-heartedly and believe, He forgives me: IT IS DONE."
"So, be careful of hardening your heart to the word of God in relation to premarital sex."
2nd Place - Tae Mc.
" Flipping through the channels on TV, I came across a show 16 and Pregnant. It's about a girl who accidentally got pregnant at 16 with her lover. What's more interesting than a girl at 16 getting pregnant and watching all that drama? Not only is this show on MTV, a popular channel for teenagers, but also it is running during prime time, meaning it is the focus for millions of young teenagers watching it along with me. I realize that this show is the result of thousands of teens who don't think of the consequences of having sex. Not only did the sixteen year old mom's life get more complicated with High School and work, her relationship with her so-called 'lover' worsened with all the stress from having a child. Every single relationship ends up broken. The only prevention from this happening again is abstinence.
When I'm bumpin' to good beats on the 'number one hit music station' in Seattle I hear many songs about love. The majority of songs on the radio are usually about love, sex, and your "special someone" these days. I was driving with my windows rolled down and the warm sun shining down on my face when a new song started playing. My friends and I got pretty into it until we realized the lyrics kept repeating, "I wish I could f*** every girl in the world". I couldn't take it and switched stations. What struck me the most was that this song is a popular song in America and young teens most likely didn't switch there radio station when it comes on. That song was basically assuring its listeners that you can have sex with anyone: there is no "one" person. This portrayal of sex and love in the media spreads like a wildfire in a teenager's mind and secures them down the path to a dreadful, hateful and insecure marriage. They need to be taught the value of sex, love and abstinence.
The media shows how love and sex can be viewed and this image repels me. This is why I choose to be abstinent. Abstinence is the key to a successful and loving relationship with my future partner. It won't get me pregnant, it won't cause me stress and it will allow me to see sex as meaningful and not wasteful. Abstinence also teaches me the value of my own precious body. Me, God's creation is meant for one person and that makes my body all the more special."
Annual Founder's " Glass Heart" Award
College Age Essay - Joshua Kiefer
"God did not create us so we can 'love recklessly' and for the moment but so we can live in harmony as a family under Him. I personally view true love as something like a beautiful hand-blown glass sculpture, shaped as a heart. My reasoning for this metaphor is because each heart is unique, delicate and created with much love. When one enters a relationship, they exchange their beautiful glass heart of love to the other. When people love recklessly and for themselves, the glass hearts are snatched from each other as soon as they are held out. This selfish exchange of hearts causes them to be dropped, effectively damaging or breaking these beautiful hearts of love. While one can try to repair their broken hearts, they will never be the same. The more one goes through relationships recklessly and for the sake of themselves, the more their heart will be broken and the harder it will be later to give their broken heart. If people continue to be reckless with their hearts, then there will be nothing left of it except a pile of shards. When people decide to instead abstain, they choose to condition themselves and polish their hearts. Their hearts remain intact and pristine. Even if people do not engage in sexual relationships, the worst that can happen to their glass hearts of love is that they collect dust from not being exchanged. Dust is easily cleaned off and beneath it all still dwells this pristine and well polished heart of true love."
Alumni Pure Love Essay Award
College Age Essay - James Burgess
"Why do you think that all major religions teach about sexual purity before marriage and fidelity within marriage?"
"Humans have many questions about their existence. We seek for deeper meaning in our lives, we ponder about our purpose of being alive, we look for a creator or higher power, and we wonder about the possibility of an afterlife. One key aspect of religions is a way to answer these questions. So where does purity fit into all of this? In addition to answering our questions, religions exist to teach us moral values and ethics. They tell us how we should live our lives and important virtues we should practice and live by. They bring us closer to that higher power and deeper meaning in life. Ultimately, religions should bring their followers to lasting peace, happiness, and spiritual fulfillment. Since we observe that religions teach purity, we can deduce that some element of this practice connects to the purpose of religion. Purity helps people go deeper in their lives and relationships, especially in marriage. In a study by the Nation Health and Social Health Survey, men and women who remained abstinent before marriage are much less likely to divorce. Â Instead, they are able to find peace, happiness, and fulfillment in their marriages. Therefore, we can see purity helps people to realize the purpose of their religions through the family.
Since religions share a similar purpose, it turns out that most of them hold many teachings in common. We can see the same virtues taught in almost every religion. Patience, mercy, selflessness, love, sincerity, dedication, faith, service, righteousness are just a few of these. In order for followers to consistently practice these, many religions also teach a high moral standard through self discipline. This eventually leads to greater fulfillment. These practices all put one's mind above the body's desires. On the other hand, sex outside of marriage puts the body's desire before the well being of the other. It shows no trace of self discipline. It sacrifices other's future family relationships for instant pleasure. When the couple breaks up, their ability to love and trust a new person is lessened and their hearts are damaged. It creates sadness and resentment that brings baggage into future relationships. If someone truly loves another person, they should be able to commit to that love for the rest of their lives. True love is for the sake of the other person and is unchanging. This is what marriage represents, commitment and devotion to one's partner. Sex outside of this commitment is immoral because it comes from a selfish motivation. Religions teach of sacrificing oneself for a higher purpose and against selfishness. This world needs people who will help others and not just care about their own needs. Practicing pure love is an excellent way to give this to the world." Â
- Details
- Category: NW Essay Contest 2011
2011 PL Essay Contestant
17 years old
12th grade
Oliver B.
1st Prize in HS(11-12) Category
Turn on the TV, listen to the radio, surf the internet, walk down a high school hallway, watch a movie, no matter what you do or how hard you try it is nearly impossible to escape the many sexually oriented messages and images we are exposed to everyday. These messages and images glorify pre-marital sex and show it in a positive light. This leaves many people asking what are if any the benefits of keeping sexual purity before marriage?
There are many benefits of keeping sexual purity before marriage. One of the main benefits of keeping sexual purity before marriage is having a stronger relationship between you and your spouse when you are married. You will have a stronger foundation of trust between you and your partner and you will not have the burden of carrying memories of the sexual experiences that you had between you and previous people. You will also increase your chances of having a successful and permanent marriage. A study conducted by researchers at Brigham Young University found that couples who practiced abstinence before marriage experienced longer marriages.
Another reason why one should remain sexually pure before marriage is because of the benefits it has on your physical, psychological, and social health. Abstaining from sex before marriage will greatly reduce your risks of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). It will also reduce the chances of you having an unplanned pregnancy. Students who abstain from sex prior to marriage are also believed to perform better academically. Sex outside marriage or before marriage can lead to relationship problems resulting in depression, guilt, loneliness, disappointment, emotional turmoil, family breakup, domestic abuse and social disruptions.
When one remains sexually pure before marriage they will also be helping to promote a better, healthier society. Abstaining from sex before marriage means fewer unwanted pregnancies, lesser homeless children and more college graduates which means more people with a higher income.
When you remain sexually pure before marriage you will also have a stronger and more closer relationship between God and your family. Your family will trust you more when you choose to remain sexually pure before marriage and you will be closer to God because you will be following his teachings (“Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 - New Living Translation”). Having a strong relationship with God and your family is important because it will help you to stay away from other temptations and will be of benefit when you are going through hard times and need someone who you can talk to and have a strong healthy relationship with.
When you have pre-marital sex you are giving your love away and that which is most sacred to someone who does not truly love you and has no intention of spending the rest of their life with you. When you practice sex outside of marriage or before marriage you are giving away a part of your heart and soul that you will never be able to get back. You are giving away that which is most sacred, and is only intended to be shared between husband and wife. In doing this you will not be capable of loving your spouse to the extent that you would have been able to love them if they had been your first.
For me the benefits of keeping my sexual purity before marriage are many. When remaining abstinent and sexually pure I can spend more time on my academics, friends and family, and developing a stronger relationship with God. I personally know of many students who have not remained abstinent and have seen them suffer greatly because of it. They grew apart from long time friends, had more family problems and did poorly in school. Some people even turned to drugs or alcohol in order to cope with the void left in their lives when the person they loved or had sex with left them to be with someone else. I personally think that the benefits of remaining sexually pure before marriage greatly outweigh the perceived benefits of not.
As you can see there are many benefits of keeping sexually purity before marriage. These benefits include but are not limited to a stronger relationship between you and your spouse, better relationship between friends and family, healthier psychological, emotional and physical health, capability of loving your spouse with all your heart and most importantly a closer relationship between you and God.
- Details
- Category: NW Essay Contest 2011
2011 Pure Love Essay Contest
2nd Prize HS Category
Age 17 Grade 11
I was brought into this world by a women only 16 years of age at the time of my birth. As I grew older pressure begins to build around the topic of abstinence. Because of her own experiences at a young age I began to get parented cautiously. I wasn't brought up in the church, but I was always a believer of God just for the simple fact that my grandma made us pray before we eat. Growing up seeing images of God around the house made me think this is the right thing to believe in. As I became of age to understand things I was oblivious to at a young age I began to think. My mother and father were not married when I was conceived. This makes me assume that what they did was okay. Right? This never crossed my mind as being un-pure until my family grew in Gods word. Knowing that my mother and father had a child even though they weren't married was just okay in my eyes. Seeing her and my father well off as adults only leaves me to think that having a child before marriage is no big problem. I think some young teens can relate and think that its okay for them to do the same.
How can you maintain sexual purity before marriage when the culture bombards you with sexually oriented messages and images? This question is relevant everyday in life. As we wake up in the morning and turn on our t.v. what might we typically see? Maybe a likable women or man advertising a warn cup of coffee? No harm in this, but the way the culture presents this image isn't pure. They might have this women or man in an inappropriate and unnecessary outfit that has nothing tied to the coffee itself. This is an example of culture presenting something so innocent as coffee and turning it into something you might question. To me they aren't selling the coffee. In my eyes I see temptation presented on many levels. There are many ways to temp someone to think a certain something. For the commercial is just a way to spread that thought of temptation. Then again an individual could not acknowledge the temptation being presented in this commercial. Everyone has different views and levels of what temps them.
Being exposed to sexually oriented content is one thing, but how you respond is another. You might watch a music video and say "Man I want to live like that" or you can say to yourself "I am made in Gods image, and what he has planned for me is much greater than what Im presented with in a 3 minute music video". Living on this earth temptations will always be at a high. Weather you are strong in your faith of God or not a believer at all. Being equipped with what you need to stray away from temptation is vital. One might say "Dig into the word of God" or "Pray about it" but in my personal experience you got to want to be pure for yourself. You know yourself the most and you know what gets to you mentally and physically so why put yourself in a position you know your going to be vulnerable in? Saying no is very easy to say. Like everyone says "Actions speak louder than words". I also once heard God wants us to live not act, so if your saying one thing and following up with total opposite, your not fooling anybody but yourself. God see's all.
Being a young christian man living in a world of sin is hard. I just think to myself "Gods got me, he got my back". Gods as present as you want him to be , you can try to block him out, but your just getting in the way of what he's called you to do. Sexual messages and images are everywhere. Steps I learned to take consist of ; 1.Cutting off the things that are hindering me (Mark 9:43), 2. Be vigilant (1Peter 5:8), 3. Remember that you are a temple of the holy spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:18-19) Truly worshipping God is giving your body as a holy sacrifice that is acceptable in Gods eyes. God will forgive you for what you have already did. He expects you to repent and learn from the situation presented to you. With no trials of failure there is no knowledge gained. We christians strive to be what is acceptable in Gods eyes.