Delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on, new research finds, according to an article by Jeanna Bryner. Live Science Managing Editor

The research shows that couples who had sex the earliest had the worst relationships later..

“What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run,” study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life, told Live Science.

The work by  Mr. Busby was published in the Journal of Family Psychology.

There are two ways of thinking about the timing of sex and relationship quality. Some say sex is essential in an early relationship since couples can see how good their sex is. Others say couples who delay or abstain from sex early in their relationships allow communication and other societal pressures to be the basis of their love relationship.

The research focused on the timing of conjugal relations. They studied 2,035 heterosexual individuals married for the first time. Participants reported when they first had sexual relations with their partners. They also were evaluated how well they expressed empathy and understood their partners.  The study questionnaire looked at relationship satisfaction and stability.

Study participants were put into three groups Those having  early sex, late sex, and waiting until marriage Relationships turned out better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until getting married. Those with who had sex before a month had the worst outcomes. Those who waited until marriage related relationship stability as 22 percent higher. relationship satisfaction as 20 percent higher, sexual quality as 15 percent better, and communication as 12 percent better.
View the full article here.  


Urban Life Training created an abstinence-centered curriculum, available at its website You can check it out there and help other teens and young adults by subscribing and using its materials.

The curriculum includes the complete STAR (Students Teaching Abstinence and Responsibility) Leadership Training program.  

The second week of the Star Leadership Training contains a sermonette by Pastor Hyung Jin Moon talking about absolute good sex. Good sex is sex God can approve of. It is not sex outside of marriage.

A slide presentation on protecting your future focuses on how one can achieve success honestly. Athletes can achieve success without using steroids.  The presentation talks about how one can achieve happiness that will last and how to experience true freedom. How to determine and achieve life goals is discussed, as well. The question “Are you ready to be a mother?” is looked at. An activity using masking tape to illustrate the reaching of a goal is prepared.

Pornography is shown, for some boys, to replace developing real relationships with real girls/women. In such a case it will be difficult to have a successful relationship with a future spouse. A review of 33 studies found that watching pornography, especially hardcore of violent porn, is linked to bullying among male college students. What can be done to stop bullying is discussed.

The consequences of STDs are shown. One example is a slide of Sheila Green, who was HIV infected through drug use.  Her son, Robert, who was six-years old at the time was born HIV infected.

One approach to the STD problem that you hear about is so called “safer sex,’ defined as the consistent proper use of a latex condom every time you have sex. How much protection do condoms provide during real sexual relations? One in five teen girls using condoms became pregnant within one year. A study in the journal from the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health reported about 204 HIV-infected men and their female partners who were not infected at the beginning of the study. During the 17-month period, among those who abstained from sex, none became infected. However, there was a one in four HIV infection rate for those using a condom consistently.

If you want more information about this curriculum go to or contact Richard Urban at 202-544-5081. 


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